I DON’T LOVE THIS AGE & YES, I’M WISHING IT AWAY…

Let me be very clear, I love my son more than anything or anyone. I would decline a date with Jason Momoa for him. I would give up chocolate and wine for him. I would give up my literal life for him. He’s my everything. But that doesn’t mean I have to love every age or every stage. And I certainly don’t love this one. He’s 2 and a half, and currently in the throws of emotional chaos. Major tantrums occur on the daily. They can be over the simplest of things; his milk might be too cold, or I hand him a biscuit from the wrong packet (even though it’s the right packet), or I offer him a sip of water from the wrong cup, or heaven forbid I try to nourish him with food. Any food. Food is apparently sent by the devil. The simple task of leaving the house takes military precision sprinkled with equal amounts of anxiety and tears. I find myself second guessing my ability as a mum; what am I doing wrong? Is it just my kid? Have I stuffed up somewhere? This is tough to admit, but I now actively try my best to avoid social situations. Because I know under no circumstances will I be able to sit down and enjoy myself. I know there will be tantrums. I know he’ll refuse to get into a high chair, or eat, or share toys with the other kids. There are always tears, and we always leave these situations in a blaze of tantruming glory. Most often with an angry toddler stuffed under one arm and a nappy bag, toys, car keys, a water bottle and uneaten snacks under the other. It’s stressfull, it’s exhusting and it feels like it will never end. So I’m wishing it away. And instead I’m wishing for the day that my boy can communicate with me better. The day we can leave the house without a break down. The day we can enjoy outtings together. The day where it’s just not so bloody hard. And I know… every stage and every age has it’s difficulties. But for me, right now, this stage is just… tough. And that’s ok. I’m learning, slowly, that it’s ok. It’s ok to feel defeated. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. It’s ok to do what works for you. It’s ok to occasionally second guess yourself. Because we are all still learning. And that doesn’t make me a bad mum. It just makes me a mum who is doing her best and figuring it out as she goes. A mum who is navigating this emotional rollercoaster whilst running a house, working, educating, nurturing and holding it all together. And at the end of a very long day, when we are cuddling on the couch watching Bluey. When the house is just that little bit quiter, and our emotions are just that little bit calmer. I know deep down that I’ve nailed it. This whole mum gig. Because he’s thriving. He’s loved. He’s safe. And right now, he still wants his mums hugs. So I must be doing something right. I don’t love this age, but I without question love him. And as they say; this too shall pass.

๐Ÿ“ท Follow our journery at instagram.com/lexie.theordinarymum

Miss Americana

“I want to work hard, whilst people tolerate me being successful.” I recently watched the Netflix documentary Miss Americana. And to be perfectly honest… I am woke (what ever woke means. Apparently awake has too many syllables for the under 30). If you haven’t heard about it, the film is an 86 minute glimpse into the life of pop-star Taylor Swift. Someone I’ve never followed, rarely listening to or really know a damn thing about. I grew up in the tragicly perfect Spice Girls and Britney Spears era. In all it’s impulse spray, lip smackers and Suprรจ glory. I therefore completely and intentionally missed the Swift, Cyrus, Grande viva-la-revolution. And thanks in part mum-life, and being in my now glorious 30s, I now only hear the remnants of pop music from afar. Mostly at activity centers or whilst browsing the bargain bin at K-mart. Unless Disney songs count?

I saw the add for this doco on just about every social media platform, and I was intrigued. A rare insight into one of the world’s biggest pop stars? Why not. As my tantruming toddler finally napped, and instead of folding washing, I sat on my biscuit covered couch and watched a glimpse into the fantastical world that is Taylor Swift. “I’m well awear this is not normal”, the star remarked to the interviewer as they drove away from hoards of screaming fans. Her life seems, from the outside looking in, a circus of flashing lights, beautiful boyfriends, glamorous gigs and perpetual parties. But if we believe anything this documentary has to tell us, we are so VERY wrong.

A scene cuts from a tall, confident Taylor, standing on stage in a glittering custom made costume, being adored by thousands of fans, to a frail, hunched over woman, in an oversized cat themed jumper, sitting alone on her lounge room floor. We are taken on a journey, peeling back the layers of this starlet, to reveal a very fragile, very vulnerable young woman, who still does not garner the respect she deserves.

No matter how many hit songs she writes, no matter how many albums she sells, no matter how many awards she wins, she still has to prove her worth. Not to herself. But to her colleuges. To her fans. To the media. To everyone else. I was shocked. Not because this is Taylor Swift. But because I saw this woman’s vulnerability and I could genuinely empathize with it. I saw her determination and I could feel it’s raw power. I saw her ambition to change the world for our little girls, and I bloody well wanted to stand up and applaude it. She should be unstoppable. But she’s not. Taylor, like many successful women of today, are used, belittled, or not taken seriously. We simply can’t be a good girl and run for president at the same time. So we are mocked, pinned against each other and put back into our place.

I watched Renee Zellweger’s Judy the other week. A feature film on the later life Julie Garland. I was saddened to see such a bright spark of a woman, smothered into nonexistence. By absent parents, misogynistic studio executives, heinousness management and money hungry husbands. All who used her talent for their own gain, and left a her with nothing more than a drug addition and a few catchy tunes. Her life should have been worth more than that. It’s tragic

But watching this documentary gave me a sense of hope. That this will not be the fate for our generations successfull and talented women. Women like Taylor are pushing back. Against conformity. Against misogyny. Against limitations set by generations before us. Setting new standards for our girls and young women. And although it seems to be a huge undertaking, both emotional and spiritual, I’m so glad that Taylor has stood up and said what we’ve all been wanting to say for a long time; “There is no such thing as a slut. There is no such thing as a bitch. There is no such thing as bossy, just as boss. We don’t want to be condemned for being multifaceted.”

Don’t tolerate me. Respect me. That’s the message I got from this documentary. Although Spice Up Your Life will always be an infinitely better song than Love Story, I’m officially calling myself a fan. Of her talent, her determination, her candor and her incredible ability to break glass ceilings. Don’t mistake her vulnerability for weakness. And Tay Tay… go get ’em girlfriend!

Image taken from Vogue.com

๐Ÿ“ท Follow my journery at instagram.com/lexie.theordinarymum

To my high school bullies…

To my high school bullies. Are you happy in your life? Right now? I sometimes wonder if you weren’t so happy at school. If perhaps your life was allot tougher than it appeared on the outside. Which is why you took it out on us. The so called losers. The chubby ones. The quirky ones. The weird ones. The different ones. I sometimes wonder if we weren’t so different after all. I wonder if we all had hidden struggles. If we all had hard days. I wonder if we all had to fight for our place in this world.

You see, those moments that you isolated me. That you excluded me. That you called me names or talked behind my back. Those moments didn’t define me. But they did give me something. Those moments gave me strength. For I had to learn to be tenacious and self reliant. Those moments gave me appreciation. For the friendships I did fordge and still have today. Those moments gave me empathy. Not just for those who were also bullied, but for you too. For I often wonder if we both cried the same amount of tears at high school. But you simply hid yours better. Behind beauty. Behind popularity. Behind beautiful boyfriends. Behind your perfection.

I remember wishing I was you. Or at least like you. To fit in. To be wanted. To be admired. To be beautiful. What I didn’t know at the time was this is a journey. And soon enough, in it’s own time, I would have all those things. And more. I’m still very much on this journey. As I’m sure you are too. Isn’t funny that as adults we most likely will meet at the same cross roads. Face the same adversities and challenges. Celebrate the same triumphs and successes. In our own unquiue way. And all that time spent in resentment and anguish at high school still lead us here. To this exact point in time. Where I stand here before you, happy. Successfull. Beautiful. And very much loved.

So my question to you is, are you happy? Right now? Because with everything I’m sure we now have in common, and everything we have both journeyed through, I can honestly and sincerely say, I hope you are.

๐Ÿ“ท Follow our journery at instagram.com/lexie.theordinarymum

HOW TO START A BLOG – Ordinary Mum Style

I’m regularly asked; how do I start blogging? The simple answer is you’ve just got to start. But in this often complex world of blogging, I feel it can become overwhelming to truly know how, where or why to begin this journey. So I’ve created a guide on how this ordinary mum started a very ordinary blog. What worked for me, what didn’t. The ups and the downs. And a few words of wisdom to get you on the blogging bandwagon.

KNOW YOUR ‘WHAT’ AND ‘WHY’ // What type of blogger do you want to be? Why do want to start a blog? It’s so important to establish your ‘what’ and ‘why’ at the very beginning of your blogging journey. There are so many different types of bloggers on social media; beauty, photography, lifestyle, fitness, reviewers, parent blogging, brands and business. But beyond that, it’s important to focus on what you will share or showcase. Will you focus more on your content and writing, or more on day-to-day life and daily updates? Having a clear WHAT will make the starting process so much easier. Once you know what type of blogger you want to be, it’s important to know your WHY. Why do you want to share your life or passion? For me, I started my blog because I felt extremely isolated as a new mum, and blogging became an outlet to share my journey.

Don’t make the mistake of trying to replicate another page or profile. You are unique, and that’s what will draw people to your page. So stay true to your WHAT and WHY. These will of course evolve with time, but they will always remind you of the reason you began this journey.

CHOOSE YOUR PLATFORM // Facebook? Instagram? Website? YouTube? WordPress? All of the above? Without complicating things, play to your strengths. If you know how to navigate and use one platform better then another, start there. I started my blogging journey with Instagram, but found the word restriction frustrating. So I purchased a domain via goggle (lexieking.com) and opened a generic blog site with WordPress. I now have the freedom to post long blogs via this platform. This website is very easy to use and update via my mobile or laptop. I want to expand and update this site in the future, but for now it works well. I do however utilize Instagram for the most part; daily stories, updates, blog excerpts etc. I occasionally push these through to my Facebook page. However I feel that Facebook takes away a bit of my anonymity, as so many friends and family can see everything posted. I will continue to grow my Facebook page as time goes on, however I do feel as though Instagram offers a better platform for novice bloggers. The remainder of this guide will focus on Instagram.

OPEN A PRIVATE ACCOUNT // This an optional way to get started. But by starting out in “private” mode, you can build upon your blank canvas. Post a few photo’s, follow a few accounts. Once you’re ready to go public, your profile won’t be blank.

FILTERS AND PRESETS // Okay, so I’m not very good at these. But for my type of ordinary mum-life blog, it’s not very important. If you’re unsure what a preset is, put simply it’s a combination of filter, hue, exposure and other photo settings utilized through apps such as Lightroom and VSCO. If you are a business, brand or professional blogger, these can be used to make your page flow seamlessly and look very appealing. To achieve this, the same preset or filter is used for each and every photo. Good examples of this can be seen at @justanothermummyblog and @reviejane.

Steph Phase from @justanothermummyblog uses consistent presets to create a seamless feed.

As I mentioned, I’m not very good at this. I’m sure if I sat down and figured it out, I’d utilize presets more effectively. But as I also mentioned, it’s not very important for us ordinary mum-bloggers. A great example of a successful preset-free account is Adele Barbaro from @real_mumma.

Adele Barbaro from @real_mumma runs a very successful insta-blog and rarely uses filters.

PHOTOGRAPHS // So if you’ve been following my journey you’ll know I suck at photos. I look at the big accounts and bloggers and think, my photos are just crap. But that’s OK! If I learnt one thing about photos it’s this; people are well and truly over the perfectly stagged, heavily filtered photos. There has been a shift from the perfect curated page to those who illustrate reality. I mean real life reality. The mess. The chaos. The wobbly bits. The raw and the real.

Keep photos as authentic as possible.

So don’t invest too much of your engery into worrying about that perfect photo. If you’ve got content to share, don’t be held back by your photography skills (or lack there of). Share your reality. If your photo is out of focus, under exposed, make-up free and covered in snot, POST IT! People will relate to this far more then a gloriously organized kitchen with a rosey hue filter. Which brings me to my next point…

BE AUTHENTIC // If you are going to be REAL and RAW and HONEST, that first post will be tough. But people will connect with you. They will see your vulnerability and relate to it. Authenticity draws people in. Posting bland, every day updates, with no substance is easy. Posting honest, unapologetic, thought provoking peices will light up your page. But it’s tough. Being so open and vulnerable has it’s difficulties. But as you continue to write and post, it becomes easier. You reveal parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed. It’s almost like therapy. Turning the camera on yourself can be confronting. It takes practice to accept the face looking back. To speak freely and without censorship. It’s so much more complex and beautiful then those generic posts.

Delete facetune or those apps that provide basic photoshop. If you are going to be real and authentic, let it all hang out. Show us those double chins, the wobbly bits, the tired mum eyes, the yogurt stained top, the regrowth, the reality. People will relate and will respond. There is far too much fluff and bubble on social media. So stand out and be YOU!

WHAT DO I WRITE ABOUT? // Simply put, everything! When I first started writing, it was very conservative. But as my confidence grew I began to expand into all the nooks and crannies of mum-life. Exhaustion, poo explosions, fussy eaters, marriage after baby, returning to work, formula feeding, self care, body confidence, post-natal anxiety, toddler tantrums. The monotonous, the melancholy, the miraculous and the mind-numbing stages of mum life. I lay it all out there. It took time to get to this point. Where I’m comfortable to share so much of it. So start small. Think about what’s affecting you right now. Right at this moment in time. It may seem small or ordinary, but don’t be afraid to share it. People will connect with it on some level. Take notes throughout the day if something pops into your head. Build from these notes to create interesting and beautiful content. Good writing is so important. So take your time, take notes and don’t hold back!

Take notes and build on these to create interesting and beautiful content.

BUILD A FOLLOWING // One question I get asked allot is ‘how did you get followers?’. Well first thing, they are not followers. I hate that word. They are not sheep. They are not being mindlessly lead. These people take what little down-time they have and connect with me. It’s a community. They help me just as much as I help them. By sharing our experiences and our lives. With this mindset comes a unique ability to grow this community. Engage with the people who connect with your content. See what other bloggers or brands they follow. Look at what hashtags they’ve subscribed to or what interests they have. KNOW your audience and engage with them. Respond to their messages and comments when possible. It takes time, but you will gain a beautiful community who are genuinely interested and engaging in your content.

I found Kristy from @bubsandreviews thanks to looping!

In the early days I participated in things called ‘loops’. These loops would require you to follow every account on the list and they would follow you. If that makes sense. I actually discovered a few gorgeous fellow bloggers this way. But for the most part I was left following allot of people I didn’t connect with. It was helpful in the early stages of my blog, and I wouldn’t discourage you from trying it.

Hashtags. These are a double edged sword. Using them in posts will allow people to find your content, especially if they are subscribed or searching for a specific tag. This also allows problematic accounts to discover you. The spammers. The “let me see your bobs and vagene” type. So research what hashtags work. See what the big accounts use. As I mentioned, find out what hashtags your community follow. It’s trial and error.

Algorithms. I don’t know what this is and I’m too old to find out.

Posting at certain times of the day. Sure, this works for increased engagement. But when your only time to post is that split second you get between shutting the toilet door and having it violently reopened by toddler who needs to watch you pee… post whenever you get a damn chance.

Paid posts. Never tried this. But I would recommend growing your audience organically first, before ever considering spending money.

GIFTS, COLLABORATIONS AND SPONSORSHIP // Early on, when my page started to build momentum, I made the mistake of accepting every gift and freebie. At first I thought it was a dream come true! But then I realized that gifts and freebies often come with an unspoken agreement. To post post post! And I resent the feeling of being forced to post. There are now only two reasons I will accept a gift.

1. I love the brand and know the requirements of accepting a gift.

2. I want to support a small business.

So I will say this and I’ll say it in capitals. DO NOT GET INTO THIS FOR FREE STUFF! It’s like selling your soul and you will lose your ‘WHY’. Why did you start blogging to begin with? For free shit? If so, then you might not be as successful as you had hoped.

esmi Skin Minerals skincare is one of my favorite businesses to collaborate with.

So this now moves us onto sponsorship or paid adds. You see them everyday on social media. I have personally never participated in a paid add. Am I against it? NO WAY! Ordinary mum bloggers are the new influencers, and it couldn’t be more refreshing! But I have a job outside of blogging. And at this stage I would rather focus on this type of stuff: the writing and connecting. I’m very terrible (in fact incredibly shitty) at flogging products or selling stuff. Hence why I left my job at Flight Center. I couldn’t even sell travel for God sakes!

Collaborations. I feel like this comes in so many different forms and variations. Discounts, gifts, ambassadors. So again I’ll just say this; know your requirements in accepting products. Never forget why you started. And never feel pressure to post.

KEY BOARD WARRIORS // With the good, comes the bad. Sharing so much of ourselves means we unfortunately and unintentionally give bullies a platform. I’ve said this before; sharing our journey makes us vulnerable but not weak. Never let the cruel words, snide comments or a judgmental nature stop you from writing. You will never please everyone, nor should you try to. Stay true to your authentic self and this will attract the community you deserve. These bullies are the minority. Block them and keep on blogging. Never let their words affect you. Block and move on.

A recent interaction with a keyboard worrior via my Instagram page.

PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY // Some days I’m too tired or distracted or overwhelmed. And as therapeutic sharing and connecting can be, switching off is equally as important. Having time away from social media hits the metaphorical reset button. You will not miss out on anything. In fact, when you log back on, you will be reinvigorated and refreshed. With more ideas and stories to share. Being present in the moment is something we often lose thanks to social media. So make sure to put your phone away every now and then, and really live in the moment. It’s good for the blogging soul.

and finally TIME // The big accounts. Your Revie’s and Steph Phase’s and House of White’s and Noonan’s. They have been doing this for a VERY long time. Years in fact. They didn’t get 100k plus followers in a few months. And they’ve had time to get good at this, so give yourself time! Time to learn and grow and evolve. I’ve been blogging for over a year, and some days I find myself frustrated with my progress. But then I have to remind myself of my WHY. Why did I start my blog? Not for followers. Not for notoriety. Not for freebies. I wanted to write. I wanted to connect. I wanted to share. I wanted to feel less alone in this crazy journey. And I achieve this every day I’m on here. Each day I connect with more people and brands. My writing evolves and becomes more beautiful with each post. And I love this! It’s a process. It’s slow but glorious in its own right. So give yourself time.

And above all, do it for fun. As a hobby. As an outlet. Never get caught up in comparing yourself. Never try to copy someone else. Always be authentically you. Because you are imperfectly perfect, and that’s exactly what Instagram needs right now. So get blogging!

From your fellow ordinary blogger,

LEXIE KING

@lexie.theordinarymum

The new type of bullying: Mum-shaming

Whilst at our family lunch yesterday, a young group of mums at the table next to us made a comment they thought I would not hear. Or perhaps they didn’t care if I did. It went something like “…there are so many things wrong with that, I don’t even know where to begin”. At first I didn’t think it was directed at me. But one quick look over to their table confirmed my fear. They were all collectively staring at me. I had a sudden flashback of me, standing alone in the middle of my high school cafteria, after being told “you can’t sit here fatty”. There is nothing more socially frightening then a group of mums with an opinion. Forget high school bullies. They’ve got nothing on mum’s who shame. I feel like there should be a collective noun for them; a cluster-mole of opinionated mums. Yeah that works. #clustermole

You see, I gave my 18 month old a bottle in his pram. No biggy I thought. He is down to 1 bottle a day. He was over tired, just smashed his lunch, and needed to nap. So I made up a bottle, laid him back in his pram and gave him his bottle of shame.

“Avery was fully weened by her first birthday”. Congratu-fucking-lations on naming your child after a bird cage, and for weening her by one… is what I wanted to say. But I’m allergic to confrontation. So I just sat there, like my high school ghost of Christmas past. My very first, gloriously awkward, very public #mumshaming.

I turn on the news this morning to see photos of Meghan Markle holding her new born baby. The headline read “Markle mum-shamed over how she holds baby. Experts weigh in.” STOP right now (thank-you very much. I need somebody with the human touch). Enough is enough. I’m calling it. The perpetrators of mum-shaming is us – MOTHERS. You. Me. Susan. And the cluster-mole of new mums, old mums, mums of 1, mums of 5, step-mums, foster mums and mums-to-be. We are all guilty of doing it in some capacity. So here’s a little reminder; none of us have any idea what we are doing. No. Fucking. Idea. What works for you will never ever ever work for anyone else. Because you and your baby are one in a million! And let’s just appreciate the fact that none of us sleep, all of us pee in front of an audience, we use far to much dry shampoo, and Kmart has incredible bargains.

๐Ÿ“ท Follow our journery at instagram.com/lexie.theordinarymum

HONEST MUM REVIEW: Capriosca Swimwear

I want to chat about a swimwear lable. Yes mumma, you heard right. Remember those? The lycra, wobbly bits on show, anxiety incorporated outfits we force our poor mum-tums into every holiday or summer. Well guess what? This ordinary mum has found a swimwear lable she can get behind! I’m talking sexy, unapologetic, curvaceous swimwear that you can actually feel good in.

A few months ago, I met Marcia, the boss babe behind the brand Capriosca. She invited me to her warehouse in Gold Coast to try on some peices. I was mortified by the mere thought of pushing my mum-tum into a suit of humiliation, let alone doing it in front of someone. But this mum had an actual first time experience. I had fun trying on swimwear! You heard right ladies. Two words you never thought you would hear post-partum – swimwear and fun.

Rocking the Honey Comb Twist Front Bandeau in Phuket.

For the first time in my life, I was fitted correctly for swimmers. I found gorgeous styles that embraced my curves and even flattered my tummy. I wasn’t looking for swimwear that might fit me after that F45 challenge. I wanted swimwear I could feel confident in now, today, just as I am. Mum-tum, cellulite, wobbly bits and all. Because this is me. So why pretend to be anything else?

Wearing the Full Bloom 3 Tier Tankini Top and High Waist Bottoms from the Curvy Collection.

Gorgeous patterns. Flattering designs. Incredible quality. Comfortable fit. Curves in all the right places, and a few extra just for good measure. This is Capriosca Swimwear. Unapologeticly sexy! Made for mum bods in all shapes, sizes and busts. For all the stages our bodies go through. Capriosca is about confidence. It’s about getting our bodies out there, on a beach, in the pool, or on holiday. It’s about feeling good in swimwear. It’s about, dare I say it, feeling sexy in swimwear! Who would have thought it possible?

I’m wearing the Full Bloom 3 Tier Tankini Top Swimsuit and Black High Waisted Pant Bottom in size 14.

๐Ÿ› SHOP THE LOOK: http://www.caprioscaswimwear.com.au

Why do we still need feminism?

Why do we still need feminism?

I feel like the word itself has been damaged by outdated extremist movements. When some picture a feminist, they envision a stereotype. An angry Germaine Greer type, most likely not wearing antiperspirant, with unshaven arm pits, an ear-piercing voice, bellowing angry words in the face of men. When I picture of a feminist, I see a young woman, seeking education, safety and equality.

The fundamental beginnings of the feminist movement centered on our right to vote. We could even go back as far as the witch trials, but we are all short on time and have equally short attention spans, so I’ll just get to the point. In the early 20th century, women took to the streets with banners and an agenda. They asked for their voices and their votes to be heard. Without the suffrage movement and the inception of femisim, this may have taken decade’s longer to achieve, if at all. How frightening is that thought?

I spent my young working life verbily abused by men. Working as a travel agent in my uni days, I was thrust into the world of customer service, and the unwarranted hatred that comes with it. I have been screamed at. Threatened. Cursed. Occasionally given flowers. Screamed at some more. Told I was worthless and spat on over a $12.50 train ticket to Brisbane. I’ve had my butt slapped with a ruler as I passed my male bosses desk. I was told on countless occasions “lucky you’re pretty”, “don’t tell your boyfriend I said this, but…”, “you stupid girl”, and my favorite “can I speak to your male superior please”. All this for below average wage and little to no benefits. Ahhh customer service… you beautiful, ruthless beast.

This is why we need feminists. People who stand up to this behaviour. Who make those accountable for their actions. Who choose humanity over masculinity. People who believe women deserve better.

To me, that’s what femisim is all about. Love and equality. It’s not saying men and women are inherently the same. Because we aren’t. It’s simply requiring the same pay for the same work. It’s providing equal opportunity for education. It’s about changing our behaviour. Being conscience of our behaviour towards each other. It’s finding common ground in our fight for equality. It’s really not that extreme or difficult. There’s no banners, or loud protests, or angry hipsters. It’s just women wanting to be seen and treated as equal human beings.

100 years ago it was our right to vote. 50 years ago it was our right to work. Today it’s our right to walk home at night and not be raped. It’s our right to be treated with humanity within the work place. It’s our right for equal pay for equal work. It’s our right to education.

Girls and women, from every facet of this earth, deserve better. If this means I’m a feminist, then I’m happy to assume this lable. For feminism is not a dirty word. And one day we will appreciate all it has given us! ๐Ÿ’ช #girlpower

๐Ÿ“ท Follow our journery at instagram.com/lexie.theordinarymum

A nation, so easily offended…

Let’s chat about political correctness. I recently saw a post from local radio presenter, Emily Jade O’Keffe (102.9 HOT TOMATO). It was a photo of her ridiculously gorgeous boy, out and about with mum & dad, holding and chewing on an empty champagne bottle. The response was largely positive. But of course, with all things on social media, the negative comments ensued.

I have a similar photo of myself, aged 4 , sitting on my poppy’s lap, sucking on a XXXX bottle, with a lit cigarette mere centimeters from my head. I cherish this photo. And yes, social ideologies have, of course, progressed since the early 90s. But I’m yet to see the harmful impacts this scenario has yielded on my life. All I see is perfect moment captured, a memory, a funny, harmless, childhood photo.

There is a social movement on here of late, to be more mindful of associating mum-life and alcohol consumption. I understand the fundamentals of this movement. For those who suffer from alcoholism, seeing mums drink on social media may trigger underlying disorders. I get it. There is a “culture” associated with mums and wine. Coming from a family who suffer from alcoholism, I see the association between what we see here, on social media, and how it affects our behaviour off social media. I am still educating myself on this recent movement.

But at some point, we need to just stop. Stop being so precious and easily offended. Stop seeing the bad instead of the good. Stop using a keyboard to vent our frustrations. We are a nation so easily offended these days. The simple mention of #metoo, or vegans, or religion, or #prolife, or Trump, sends peoples ability to be offended into the stratosphere. Gone are the days where Australian’s were embraced as larikins. Easy going. Laid back. We are all so tightly wound, I only need to say something like “Julie Bishop would make an incredible Prime Minister”, and the figurative rubber band would snap. I would lose followers. My child would receive threats. This is our modern, offended, PC society. An opinion is now considered a fact, and everyone is a authority on the subject.

The simple matter is that even this post will offend people. But NEWS FLASH: My opinion will always offend someone. We all have hugely different personalities. And thank-god we do! How boring life would be if we all believed the same thing.

I don’t know how we stop being so easily offended. But what we can do is be more kind. If you’re unable to take somones opinion, or post, or photo with a grain of salt, simply move on with your life. If you are offended by somones content, move on. Or find value in your divergence. For opinions are like assholes…

๐Ÿ“ท Follow our journery at instagram.com/lexie.theordinarymum

HONEST MUM REVIEW: esmi Skin Minerals

A decade ago I was 21 years old. I went night clubbing every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I drank vodka red bulls, and ate midnight kebabs, all before starting work at 8am the next morning. I considered 2 minute noodles a meal and wore Suprรจ like Paris Hilton’s wannabe clone. I smeared body lotion on my face and wore Impulse as perfume. Now I’m a mum who enjoys a 9pm bedtime, an occasional red wine (or two), and a good pair of high waisted tights. With time comes knowledge and appreciation. A decade ago I didn’t appreciate my body or my skin. I guess this is the power of hind-sight. Now I’m in my 30’s, i’m beginning to acknowledge that my body, my mind and my skin needs more attention and love then it used to.

I therefore treated my self to an early Christmas present last year, and invested in a hydration bundle from esmi Skin Minerals. I suffer from terribly dry facial skin. So dry, the Sahara desert be jealous. I never cleansed my skin because of this. Instead, I over exfoliated every night in the shower to remove my flakey dead skin. This of course was doing more bad then good.

esmi Skin Minerals skincare is mum life friendly!

Using esmi’s range has taught me how to correctly deal with my problem skin for the first time in my life; I now gentally cleanse daily with the Uncomplicated Cleanser, to remove all the sweat, grime and general mum-life yuckiness of the day. After I shower, I immediately hydrate my skin with the Hyaluronic Hydrating Serum. I have since invested in the Golden Anti-aging Serum (because I’m 30 something now ๐Ÿ™ˆ), which I use at night. To moisturize, I apply the 24K Gold Nourishing Oil, which also makes the perfect base for make-up for anyone with dry skin. Instead of exfoliating daily, I now use the Exfoliating Charcoal Serum twice a week in the shower. After a few trial runs of my new skin care regime, I found that due to my excessive dry skin, I achieved perfect results by removing the charcoal serum with a store bought exfoliating mit. I also sleep in the Hyaluronic Booster Mask (medium hydration for all skin types) and the Nourishing Booster Mask (heavy hydration, perfect for very dry skin) most nights of the week, to help top my my moisture levels. My skin has quickly become beautifully smooth and hydrated.

I’ve now implemented the Nourishing Booster Mask and Anti-aging Serum into my routine, with incredible results.

After 6 months of trialling all of these products, I can finally apply make-up without worrying about dry spots or flaking skin. I can go make-up free and still look hydrated and flawless. Investing time into my skin has become apart of my #selfcare routine, and we all know how important self care is for us mums.

esmi Skin Minerals skincare is Australian made and cruelty free! Check out their Instagram page at @esmiskinminerals

Visit their website at http://www.esmi.com.au

My favorite product – the 24k Nourishing Oil.

LOVING YOUR BODY AFTER BABY

No body bounces back after baby. This is a myth that sits along side unicorns and husbands who cook without making a mess. Nice idea, but complete and utter bullshit. My body’s changed permanently. No exercise or diet will improve my epic mum-tum. So I’ve had to do something for the first time in my life. I’ve had to accept my body. I’ve treated it poorly in the past. Crash diets. High school eating disorders. Binge eating. But I can’t do that to myself anymore. My body is tired from being a mum, and it needs and deserves to be loved. So how do you go from loathing your body to accepting it…or even loving it?

The first step is LEARN YOUR NEW SIZE. Don’t be in denial that you’ve gone up a size or three post baby. It’s ok, it’s normal and it will fluctuate. If you have no clothes that fit you in the cupboard, then go ahead and wear those high-waisted tights. Be comfortable whilst you’re learning to become a mum. I lived in high-waisted tights for the first 6 months post baby, and that’s ok! And once my swollen post-pregnancy tummy settled, and my new mum-bod began to appear, I had to learn how to dress my new body. And that’s the next step…

LEARN HOW TO DRESS YOUR NEW BODY. That mini skirt, your favorite pair of jeans, it may never fit over your epic mum-tum anymore. It can be deflating, looking in your cupboard and having nothing to wear. So I made the decision to clean out my closet and treat myself to key mum-life friendly pieces. Gone are my Valley Girls days, and getting to Westfield for a shopping trip with a toddler is comparative to climbing Mount Everst. So I did research. I found size inclusive boutiques online that cater for mums like us. Easy, simple, gorgeous fashion for mums. Although I live in activewear during the week, on weekends I’ve finally began to enjoy choosing an outfit and getting dressed up. And this is not because I’ve lost any significant amount of weight. It’s because I have clothing that I know fits my body and is flattering. Being comfortable and feeling beautiful in your clothing is so important for your overall mindset.

Another import step is eating well and EXERCISING. I can’t stress enough how important exercise is, not only for your body, but for your mental health too. We become so busy as mums, we often forget to look after ourselves. Feeling sluggish or exhausted all the time makes me not want to unfold that pram and get out the house. But you must push through this mentality. Moving your body has so many benefits. You feel better, you have more energy, and your body responds to this! Go for a walk to begin with. Join a baby friendly gym. Push yourself outside your comfort zone. You won’t ever regret exercise.

Another curial step is APPRECIATION of your new body. This may take a while achieve, and I’m still struggling with this. Our bodies took upwards of 9 months to create life. We had our tummys forcefully cut open, or we excruciatingly pushed life from our bodies. It’s incredible! Your body is incredible. I believe if we can appreciation this, it will lead onto accepting and eventually loving our mum-bods.

No body bounces back after baby. The only thing that bounces is our saggy boobs, butt and belly. We were blessed enough to have carried a baby and it’s changed our bodies forever. It’s what you do with our body now that counts. Learn how to nourish it. Learn how to dress it. Learn how to challenge it. Learn to accept it. And eventually we will learn to love it.

๐Ÿ“ท Follow our journery at instagram.com/lexie.theordinarymum