1. I can’t remember what my old life was like. Literally. I’m so f@cking tired I can’t remember!
2. I’ve never appreciated a fart until now. Hearing one come from your wind trapped baby is music to my ears! #fartappreciation
3. There’s nothing better then a solid 75 minute sleep at night.
4. My husband can hear a beer opening in the other room, but cannot hear a baby crying.
5 Whilst on husband, it now apparently takes 45 minutes to shit…with phone in hand of course.
6. A play mat is essentially a baby sitter… don’t deny it.
7. A jumparoo is also essentially a baby sitter… and if you deny it, you’re kidding yourself.
8. Dry shampoo IS considered washing your hair.
9. Shaving my legs is no longer optional, it’s a luxury.
10. Routine is key. But routine can go EAD when mummy and daddy need a night out of the house! #babycansleepinthepram
11. My tummy is still a flippy floopy mess, so sadly my Victoria Secret modeling career is officially over.
12. I would love to be one of those mum’s that steams and puree’s and thermomixes their 6 month old’s food. But it’s so much easier not to. #motheroftheyear
13. Wine saves lives.
14. Frozen dinners suck…until you haven’t eaten all day and baby finally goes to sleep! #finedining
15. You will get baby spammed, because my child is unique and advanced and adorable and unlike any other baby it’s age.
16. It takes an extra 2 hours to get ready to leave the house these days…mostly because husband is on the toilet during this time.
17. Tantrums are expected…from Mum that is.
18. Judging whether slightly poo’ed on pants warrent a clothing change, is now considered normal.
19. “Don’t put that in your mouth” is now the offical slogan of our household.
20. I wouldn’t have it any other way!