FINDING CONFIDENCE AFTER BABY. We give so much of ourselves in order to be a mum. We give our bodies, our sleep, our social lives and often our careers to motherhood. We prioritize ourselves last and don’t think twice about it. Our focus shifts from our well-being and happiness to souly our children’s.
After 14 months of playing first-time-mum, I’ve discovered that we give so much of ourselves to motherhood, we often lose a piece of who we are. One piece I certainly lost was #confidence. Confidence in myself, my new role, my new life. For me, confidence post-baby is like a puzzle. Some pieces get lost under the couch or sucked up the vacuum. But we must try to complete it without them. So where do you even start?
I am 10kg heavier than I was pre-baby. Leaving the house takes the organizational skills of a small government. I have post-natal anxiety. These reasons alone should keep me inside the house. But it’s these reasons I make myself get out everyday. And that’s the first step; GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Schedule a daily walk, coffee date, drive or park visit into your routine. Give yourself time to learn how to unfold that pram and get baby in and out of that car seat. Practice how to leave the house. The most under-valued therapy for a new mum is just being outside! And once you’ve mastered the pram and car seat, nothing can stop you.
When your body is ready, EXERCISE! If you’ve never been one for the gym or bootcamps, now is the time. Start with a walk. Progress as your body allows you. There are mummy-focused, pram friendly, post-natal bootcamps and classes available in most towns and cities. One I found here on the coast is Yummy Mummy Fitness . Another option is finding a gym with child minding facilities. So do your research. Find something that will push you out of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself! Once you do, you’ll feel better, you’ll get out of the house, you’ll meet new people. It’s an incredible waterfall effect all starting with exercise.
The next step is ACCEPTION & APPRECIATION. Acception of your new body and appreciation for everything it’s done. No body bounces back after baby. The only thing that bounces is our saggy boobs, butt and belly. It’s ok if you feel more comfortable in high waisted tights then a denim skirt. It’s ok if you have to donate half your closet to charity, because nothing fits anymore. It’s ok because you carried a baby and it’s changed your body forever. It’s what you do with your body now that counts. Learn how to nourish it. Learn how to dress it. Learn how to challenge it. Learn to accept it. And eventually you’ll learn to love it.
An important step to finding confidence is to SCHEDULE SELF-CARE. This is something we never had to do pre-babies. Self-care might mean different things to different people. To me it’s regular visits to the hairdresser and baby-free gym sessions. To you it might mean a girls night out or getting a massage. The important thing is to schedule it. Get your partner to do their 50% and parent the baby for a day. Book a babysitter. Get Grandma over. Organise time just for you! It’s incredibly beneficial for your mind to just switch off from mum-life for a moment and reconnect with yourself.
Along with self-care comes something equally as important. Get a SOCIAL LIFE! After I moved to Gold Coast from my hometown of 29 years, I had no connections, no established friends, no one outside of my immediate family. Then I fell pregnant a short time later and the isolation grew exponentially. So I did something I would have never done pre-baby. I joined a social group, I put my self out there and I met new people. Mama Tribe helped push me outside my social comfort zone, and reestablish a confidence I thought was long lost. Talking to other mums, engaging, getting out of the house, it all made me feel less alone in the crazy journey. So I highly recommend finding a new tribe, joining a play group, planning mum meet-ups, or attending baby-free brunches. Find a social setting that pushes you outside your comfort zone and gets you meeting new people.
CLEAN OUT YOUR SOCIALS. Do a mass unfollow, and get rid of people or accounts who make you feel less then worthy or second guess your surroundings. Perhaps following Miranda Kerr gives you #organizationgoals, but at the same time you’re comparing her flawless mum-bod to your glorious mum-tum. Follow accounts or bloggers who inspire ordinary life. Who give you realistic insights. I love following accounts who keep it real and make me feel a little less alone in this journey. Some of my favorite ordinary mums are Adele Barbaro, Courtney McCarty and EmmyLou.
Finding confidence after baby is a journey. It takes time and it takes practice. But just know you are not alone in this. The struggles, the ups and downs, the self-doubt, the self-loathing. We’ve all been there. But it’s how we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off that matters. It’s completing the puzzle without the missing pieces and appreciating it anyway. You are enough and you are worth it.
SHARE this with all your mum-friends! Confidence is contagious 🧡
📷 Follow our journery at instagram.com/lexie.theordinarymum