“Can I speak to a man please?”; I am asked this by customers every damn day. See…I run a mechanical workshop. Yes…an actual testosterone filled, 50 degree heat on a good day, steal capped boots essential, down right greasy mechanical workshop. For those of you who don’t know, a mechanical workshop is that bizzar, incomprehensible place that you often are forced to visit if your car decides to shit itself. It’s that place filled with smelly blokes who seem to almost speak another language when conversing with you, and all that time you wonder “are they trying to rip me off?” Well…not my workshop. In my workshop, I run the show. I had the front office renovated, beautiful furniture added to the waiting area, air-conditioning installed right above my work station. ***ahhhh yes…I thought I’ll revolutionize the mechanical industry!
(Phone rings) “Yes. Can I speak to a man please? “. “Is there something I can help you with?” I respond with all the grace and poise only a lady can encompass ***insert eye roll .
“Nah. I need to speak with one of your guys.” So I proceed out to the workshop to find one of the “guys”, only to find them all busy as shit, stuck under trucks or out for test drives. ***reluctantly takes phone off hold; “Sir, all the technicians are currently busy. Is there something I can help you with?”
“Nah I’m not sure you’ll understand. It’s about me brakes.”
“Yes. I can help you with that. What issue is your vehicle having with the brakes?”
“Nah get one of ya boys to call me back.”
“Good girl”; now there’s one expression that really hurts my over-senstive, probably because I’m ovulating, feelings. And it’s always said to me when I achieve the unbelievably challenging task of…wait for it…booking their car in at their requested date and time. Those 4 years at University really made me a good girl. #revolutionizingtheindustry
Or how about, “can I speak to owner?”; “Sir, I am the owner, is there anything I can assist you with?” ***insert laughter from the male customer who clearly believes no woman has run a business before, let alone a business with loud, noisey, mechanical thingys, that are painted pretty colours, go really fast, have amazzzzing sound systems, and what’s that guys name from The Fast & the furious again….?
What about the age old belife, widely ingrained in your average bloke and/or sexist anthropoid, “women can’t drive”! Yep..two customers sat in the waiting area and discussed this clearly under appreciated topic for almost an hour……an hour…
What about the customer who was waiting for his vehicle to be finished, and proceeded to tell me about his upcoming trip to Bali. “Oh, you’ll love Bali…” I responded, with only the enthusiasm of waking up at 4am after 2 night feeds with baby, working through lunch, and having 3 phone calls on hold, could contain.
“If I took you to Bali, we’d never leave our room…shhhh don’t let your husband hear that!”
*** wait….what did he just say?
“Your wife and I might have a better time together.”….isssss what I wanted to say.
I don’t know whether it was my need to keep the customer happy at all costs, or my ever present need to avoid confrontation…or even worse…my hidden 1950s housewife, looking to escape and take over the kitchen! But nonetheless, I did nothing expect say “Hahaha (fake laughter) that’s o.k”. Thats o.k….what did I even mean by that? That it was o.k…. don’t forget #revolutionizingtheindustry ***insert exhausted, underwhelmed emoji
To be continued….sadly.